Sep 30

Hello friends! In my last post I discussed the importance of listening to our spouse in a way that gives us the ability to understand their perspective. When we are listening we only have the ability to make a quick analysis before the other person continues to talk. We cannot really consider what is being said in the moment, so we need to go back and really think about it. Typically, men are better at this than women. It is lovingly referred to as them being in their man cave. This involves a period of time where the couple does not talk, but reflects on what has been said in order to gain perspective, understanding, and a broader context than our own narrow viewpoint.

So, what does meditation have to do with communication? Well, everything really! Without going back and reflecting on what’s been said we become stuck in a cycle in our minds, replaying the same arguments or our same reasoning, but getting nowhere on resolving the problem.

God gives us great insight in how meditation is significant in our relationship with Him. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Joshua 1:8 says, “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” Psalm 1:1-3 says, “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked, or stand in the way that sinners take, or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not whither-whatever he does prospers.”

If you notice, every verse here on meditation comes with a promise. If you are transformed by the renewing of your mind you will know God’s will for your life. If you meditate on God’s word you will be prosperous and successful. If you delight and meditate on God’s law, whatever you do will prosper. These promises are true always!!! We then know that if we go back and really think about what God is saying in His word after we have read it, He will be faithful to renew our minds and give us insight into His desires, His commands, His heart. Because marriage is a reflection of this amazing relationship we can have with God, the same concept remains true of our marital communication. If we go back and think about what has been said, God will be faithful to renew our minds, give us fresh insight and perspective on the situation, and help us to move past our own shortcomings and limited knowledge so we can resolve the deeper issues and so our marriages can prosper!! The principle of meditation is this: if you take the time to really understand what is being said, then you will prosper. Simple right?

We complicate this simple truth by the pride of our own hearts in believing that we are always right. If I am right, then the other person must be wrong….or so we think. However, what I have learned is that my husband and I are almost always both right……

How can that be? Because we both have different perspectives of the same thing. For example, If you and your spouse sit at a table across from one another and you place a Cheerios box on the table in between you, each of you would describe the cheerios box differently. One person would say, ” This is Cheerios, it is good for your heart, the picture shows a big bowl with little ring shapes in white stuff.” The other could easily conclude they are totally wrong. Why? Because they can’t see that side of the box. They see the more technical side like a process describing how cheerios are made. They both agree the box contains cheerios, but disagree on the facts. They are both right, they are just seeing it from two different angles. When they go back and think about what has been said, the second person can say…”oh, actually, the way they are made and the ingredients that are in cheerios actually supports the notion that they are heart healthy, and that they are shaped like rings. Hmmmm” Different perspectives on the same thing.

To conclude, God made us man and woman so that when you put us together we gain a better perspective on things. We think differently on purpose. It’s the way we were created. By listening to our spouse and meditating on what they have said, we actually grow and prosper in our marriage and beyond. The purpose of God putting a man and a woman together is to help each other reach both of our God-given potentials. He gives me insights for my husband that help him grow and vice versa. What results is a deeper intimacy and love between us as well as everything we do prospers! What a loving God! God Bless You!

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